Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Lonely

How come no one tells you how lonely it is to have a baby? Maybe they did and I just didn't listen, but I'm here to tell you... it's lonely.
My sister told me that it's hard to have friends that don't have kids once you have them, but she makes it work so I didn't really think much of it. But, now that I'm not working my day is all about being home and spending time with Natalee. I don't have visitors and I really don't have many friends. My sister is probably my best friend, but she is busy with her own two kiddos and its nearly impossible for us to go do anything without kids, since our go-to babysitter is the same person (our other sister). We can't leave poor Maggie with all three kids, she would never agree to babysit again.
I joined a playgroup on Meetup, but when I went to the first meeting no one showed up. I came home and cried because I was so disappointed. Sean tells me that he is my friend, but it's not the same. I want a girlfriend to hang out with, to shop with or go to the movies with. I'm afraid that I'm at a point in my life where I won't get that chance anymore. When I do go back to work, there are generally very few women in the construction field. I thought about joining some sports team through parks and rec, but you have to form and team and then sign up, so that won't work.
Last week I threw a "girls night" party at my house with the women that I do know. I had six people come and I had so much fun. It was really great to just talk and laugh. I hope to do that again soon.
In the mean time, I will just be thankful for all the wonderful blessings in my life.

4 comments:

Emily Burton said...

Too bad we don't live closer! haha I feel the same way. It is rare that you find a stay-at-home mom to hang with. All my friends work!

Brandy said...

If you lived closer - I would totally hang out with you. I'd love to have a mommy with a same age baby that gets it.

McCloud Photography said...

We are still hanging out tomorrow right? I know we don't have kids but I still love hanging out with you!

Susan said...

Friends aren't as important to men as they are to women, and sadly it is harder for women to find and keep friends as they get older. Being an Adult girl Scout (when my daughters were in) brought me a handful of women that remained close friends for THOSE years, but as one or 2 left scouting the calls became fewer etc...then I went back to college and lived on campus and came home e/o weekend, the 2 that remained my friends, didn't write except for a handful of times the first year, and not at all the 2nd year, and when I graduated and came home, it seemed like no one wanted to be bothered. Jump ahead 3 years, I got involved in scrapbooking (I have always been an artist in some form or another since childhood...I always thought scrapbooking was stupid...then I realized these gals had their photos in lovely books and people could actually see them, all our photos are in boxes--I was convinced) anyway because scarpping is big, and the best way to get lots done is to go to all day crops or even weekend retreats, I did start to make some friends and scrapping buddies...sadly the 2 good friends i made and had for about 6 years just this past year both betrayed my trust, and that was the end of that, as neither felt any remorse or would even acknowledge that they did the deed in the first place even though I have proof...in black and white.

I would recommend scrapbooking and even quilting as a way to meet and make some friends...church groups sometimes work...but that is a thin line...you either have to be all the way into "the church" or not.

I have always had the worst luck, even one of those scout friends used to tease me that if there was ever an alien abduction in our county it would be me. But My entire family (immediate, and some extended) have had the worst stuff happen to us since 2001(father's day to be exact) to that end, my faith has been marginal at best. so I am not the best person to give advise on church groups.

I do hope you make a friend or 2, they are very important to your emotional well being. I read your 100 random facts and your about page...2 things...why the name Austin if you live in Oregon? (maybe I am dumb here or something) and i would highly recommend a sister or brother for Natalee(pretty name by the way)...all the psych classes and sociology classes I have taken PLUS life experiences...first hubby---only child, one of my so-called friends--only child, my mom---only child...don't go there!

Nice getting to know you...Susan (almost 50 and in NJ. 2 marriages 3 kids daughter-27, son-24, daughter will be 23 on 7/6 hubby 2 marriages 1 son--almost 45, and then the 2 youngest with me)