Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Gender Bender


I have been noticing lately that there are a lot of people talking about finding out baby's gender before birth, and there are some pretty strong opinions on the topic. So, I decided I should write about it… since I have pretty strong opinions about it as well.
Before I ever even thought about having a baby, I was sure that I would want to know what we were having. When I got pregnant, one of the first questions I asked was: "When can we find out the gender?" But my husband said he didn't want to know, I was annoyed but figured that I would change his mind eventually. He stood his ground and I started to think about it and I really came around to the idea of not knowing. A few years earlier, my sister had a baby and did not find out the gender and she kept telling me it was the best surprise… so I went with it.
Sean always says that it was a "financial decision," in order to keep me from shopping, and I think he is only half kidding. I wanted a little girl so so so bad, but I never told anyone that. I was sure that I was having a boy and I didn't want anyone to think I was "disappointed" in any way. When delivery day came, the doctor asked: "Would you like me to tell you the sex when the baby is born, or just hold him/her up for you to see yourselves?" We said we wanted to see ourselves, and when she was born he held her up butt first and I said "It's a girl!" Sean says he'll never forget that or the way that I said it, it was pure joy. I would not trade that moment for anything in this world. Even a year later I say to her: "I'm so glad you're a girl!"
I guess after my experience, I can't understand how anyone could choose not to wait. Some say: "I want to be ready" but I received an entire wardrobe of gifts before we even left the hospital. The carseat and stroller and all the big stuff should be gender neutral anyway because that stuff is expensive and who wants to have to buy it twice if they have a baby of the opposite gender later?
Personally, the only time I would want to know is if my baby received some sort of diagnosis during pregnancy that would not be compatible with life. This way, I could feel like I had a chance to get to know my baby.
This decision in intensely personal to each and every couple, but I just felt the need to express my personal opinion on the subject.

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