Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Mighty are Falling

People love their dogs; that is one thing that I know for sure. And, we are no exception. In fact, they are just as much a member of the family as Sean or Natalee or me. There isn't anything we wouldn't do for them (as evidenced by the many, many thousands of dollars we've spent on vet bills in the last few years.)
Three years ago, Jackie was diagnosed with Laryngeal Paralysis, the flaps that open and close when we breathe had stopped moving. She had a major breathing crisis and we almost lost her. She had surgery to repair the problem, a year later the surgery failed. She had surgery again. A year later the surgery failed. Then we did a different type of surgery. This time she got Aspiration Pneumonia and spent a week in the ICU at Oregon State Vet Hospital (who were wonderful, by the way). Everything has been good, but she has been clearing her throat a lot, so we took her in and they gave us some cough suppressants and antibiotics. Over the weekend her cough went from really dry sounding to really wet sounding. We took her in yesterday and had an x-ray done.
Sean called me on the way home, very calmly said: "There is a tennis ball sized mass, it's either cancer or an abscess." I couldn't believe how calm he was, but for quite a while he's been talking about the end of her life. She is 14 and has had a rough few years, but can you ever really be prepared for that? This morning at around 3am I could hear Jackie coughing, I reached over to where Sean was and he just grabbed my hand and held on. He just cried and cried. It is very humbling to see a strong, tough man like my husband, reduced to tears. I don't know what it will be like without her around; she really is the queen of our castle. And maybe it's all for naught at this point, maybe after 10 days of antibiotics it will turn out to be an abscess that is shrinking. But we do realize that the end is a very clear possibility. It breaks my heart to think of losing her, but it may be for the best.



Brandy said...

Oh - I'm so sorry. no words are adequate.

Corinne said...