Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Feed the babies!


Today, I read a post at Harpers Happenings about feeding our babies, it really hit home. I've written about my struggles before, but I think I have some more to say about it today.
My friend had a baby last month, she is beautiful and tiny and perfect. They are struggling with breastfeeding and she keeps calling me wanting to know what to do. I just tell her "feed your baby." Personally, I don't care how anyone feeds their baby. I care only that they get the nutrition that they need. I feel like she wants me to tell her that she should give up and give in to the temptation to give formula, and if she does that there will be ZERO judgment from me. If you don't have the supply that you need then you can't just keep trying at the cost of starving you baby. I think she has made a hell of an effort, just like I did but when I read the responses she gets when asking for help (or, the responses anyone gets when asking for help on this subject) I just want to SCREAM at everyone that it isn't always easy or possible. For some people it is, and they seem to be the most vocal about why breastfeeding is right or the only option, and they are the ones that make us feel the worst about ourselves. But the big question that I have is… why don't they tell you in all those pregnancy and parenting books that it's hard and its work and not everyone can do it? If you can't do it, you can't. The guilt that we feel is enough; we don't need everyone else's judgment thrown in on top to make it even worse. If it makes you feel like a better parent to judge me or others that formula feed (for any reason), then maybe you need to take a look at your values and priorities.
And as a final thought, if we ever have another baby I will certainly try it again, I will try harder from the beginning and I will not let guilt consume me. It is what it is…

3 comments:

Brandy said...

Very well said. Life isn't easy. And when something (breastfeeding) doesn't work for you. You need support not judgement.

Adventures In Babywearing said...

You're right. It's best to be a support to others no matter what.

Steph

Holly said...

Amen sister!!