Friday, September 24, 2010

Stupid Grass... but at least it's green.

Is it true that the grass is always greener on the other side? I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately.

I’ve got a cold, as does Sean… I want to lie on the couch and watch all the awesome new shows I’ve got piled up on my DVR from this week. But, that isn’t going to happen because I have a kid to take care of and a house that is in desperate need of a little attention. I start to think about back before I had Natalee and before I was married, when I lived all alone… I keep thinking that I wish I could be there just for one day, but when I really really think back to those days I remember that I was so lonely, married to my work and wanting desperately to just have a family and a husband to love me like crazy. Once you get the things you long for, the other option suddenly seems to have some sort of new appeal. (The obvious disclaimer: I would never, ever trade my family for anything).

When I talk to people that are stay-at-home moms I get all jealous and wish I could do that… and then I think back to the time that I did do that (not by my own choice, but I did it), and I decided unequivocally that it was NOT the job for me. To all the SAHM’s out there: how do you do it? You’re amazing… But this is just another example of that proverbial grass and its level of greenness.

I have a few friends that are pregnant now, and they all know or will find out the gender of their baby… I’ve been pretty steadfast in my belief of being surprised in the delivery room. Looking down when they held up that baby and saying “It’s a girl!” was one of the best moments of my life. Sean says he wishes it was on video because “it was like I could hear all your dreams just come true.” So, now that I have my little girl… I’m wavering on the delivery room surprise. What if I’m disappointed on delivery day? I have no concern when it comes to baby gear or purchases, as everything we have is gender neutral. When I tell people my own age or younger that we won’t find out most are taken aback and kind of confused by our choice (except those that have been surprised, because they know how AWESOME that moment really is). When I tell people a little older, most are so excited about it. But I’m just really concerned lately about the possibility of being disappointed. Having so many ultrasounds with this pregnancy isn’t helping matters either. At one of them, the doctor kind of teased Sean that she knew and he didn’t, it was all in good fun but it makes me kind of antsy to know that others know and I don’t (it makes Sean extremely agitated… in a good fun kind of way). In my heart I know that we won’t find out, unless we get some bad news at our next appointment… but has anyone else ever been disappointed? Whether they found out ahead or not… and how did you deal with it?


Brandy@YDK said...

Ahhh - I remember all that free time before kids and I wonder what did I do with all of it.

You won't be disappointed. Because what if it's a boy? YAY a baby brother!

What if it's a girl? YAY don't have to buy a crapload of more stuff.

Brandy@YDK said...

I think you'd be disappointed if it ended up being both. at the same time. :) or twins.

Corinne said...

I kind of want my next baby to be a surprise. I am a SAHM, and I couldn't imagine it being any other way. I worked for a little bit, after Noah, and it was not for me.

Lyndsay said...

I was adament that we NOT find out if Munchie was a boy or a girl. Hubby would have found out if I wanted to, but I wanted **that moment** in the delivery room. We agreed that if we had a second child we would seriously consider finding out.

I said it didn't matter if I had a boy or a girl and it didn't .... except it did because there was a secret little part of me that really wanted to be a mom to a girl. But I know I would have gotten over that within seconds of gazing at a baby boy.

We're not having a second child, but if we did I don't think I would care anymore. Having a girl is great, so a second would be great. Having a boy would be great b/c then I could experience both...

... but we're not so the end.

And I don't think you'll be disappointed. Unless it's really ugly. Waahaahaa... just kidding.


Melissa said...

I don't think I would want to find out. But I'm such a control freak that it would drive me crazy the whole time, especially knowing that someone else knows!!!

I'm sure you wouldn't be disappointed!

designHER Momma said...

1. I've never found out the sex, and will not, if ever there is a 4th.

2. The stay at home mom thing. Right now, that is about 90% who I am. And honestly, I'm struggling with it right now. Someways I just feel like a bad accessory in my husbands life. Supporting role, know what I mean?

Amie said...

I absolutely wouldn't find out. No question.