Is it true that the grass is always greener on the other side? I’ve been thinking about this a LOT lately.
I’ve got a cold, as does Sean… I want to lie on the couch and watch all the awesome new shows I’ve got piled up on my DVR from this week. But, that isn’t going to happen because I have a kid to take care of and a house that is in desperate need of a little attention. I start to think about back before I had Natalee and before I was married, when I lived all alone… I keep thinking that I wish I could be there just for one day, but when I really really think back to those days I remember that I was so lonely, married to my work and wanting desperately to just have a family and a husband to love me like crazy. Once you get the things you long for, the other option suddenly seems to have some sort of new appeal. (The obvious disclaimer: I would never, ever trade my family for anything).
When I talk to people that are stay-at-home moms I get all jealous and wish I could do that… and then I think back to the time that I did do that (not by my own choice, but I did it), and I decided unequivocally that it was NOT the job for me. To all the SAHM’s out there: how do you do it? You’re amazing… But this is just another example of that proverbial grass and its level of greenness.
I have a few friends that are pregnant now, and they all know or will find out the gender of their baby… I’ve been pretty steadfast in my belief of being surprised in the delivery room. Looking down when they held up that baby and saying “It’s a girl!” was one of the best moments of my life. Sean says he wishes it was on video because “it was like I could hear all your dreams just come true.” So, now that I have my little girl… I’m wavering on the delivery room surprise. What if I’m disappointed on delivery day? I have no concern when it comes to baby gear or purchases, as everything we have is gender neutral. When I tell people my own age or younger that we won’t find out most are taken aback and kind of confused by our choice (except those that have been surprised, because they know how AWESOME that moment really is). When I tell people a little older, most are so excited about it. But I’m just really concerned lately about the possibility of being disappointed. Having so many ultrasounds with this pregnancy isn’t helping matters either. At one of them, the doctor kind of teased Sean that she knew and he didn’t, it was all in good fun but it makes me kind of antsy to know that others know and I don’t (it makes Sean extremely agitated… in a good fun kind of way). In my heart I know that we won’t find out, unless we get some bad news at our next appointment… but has anyone else ever been disappointed? Whether they found out ahead or not… and how did you deal with it?
5 days ago