Monday, November 22, 2010

The Post Where I Beg For Your Help

Yesterday, I tried to be a good mom. And by "good" I mean "fun and easy going." At naptime, Natalee really didn't want to go to bed... after a pretty good struggle, I decided that she could lay in our bed and I'd put on some cartoons. She has never watched TV but I thought she might just relax and fall asleep. I was wrong. She layed there for about an hour but never did go to sleep or take a nap. Then last night she took the iPad and went to lay in our bed again. I guess since she was playing educational games I didn't mind too much. Sean wasn't feeling well and we were all ready for bed at 8:30. That made putting her in bed easy because the house was dark and nothing else was going on.
This is where my big failure really begins: Natalee woke up and came into our room at about 2am, and we let her get in bed with us. She has never slept with us, but "good parents" cosleep so I thought it might be fun to have her in there... she kneed me in the back about ever 4-5 minutes from that point on. Sometimes I could sleep through it, sometimes it hit that spot where you can feel it shoot up and down your back. I thought about getting up and putting her in bed but I was sure she'd wake up and not go back to sleep at all. She was up and about at 4:30. I'm exhausted and I totally lost my temper with her this morning. After we both calmed down she gave me a hug and said "I love you mommy" with her leftover tears still on her cheek. I feel like she got the short stick in the motherhood game.
How in the world will I ever take care of 2 kids?
What is up with her funky sleeping habits lately?
What time do your kids go to bed/get up? (Or, did they around age 2?)
What about naps?
I'm desperate for any help anyone has here. I want her happy, but we both need sleep for that to happen.


Corinne said...

Is she feeling sick. Sometimes illness messes with their sleeping.

And don't worry we all have bad mornings, and everyone yells at their kids sometimes.

Brandy@YDK said...

I keep thinking about 2 yr molars. G sleeps with us all the time - so um ya - I'm no help. Yesterday for his nap we all laid in the bed and turned on monsters inc. I dozed off and next thing I know he had his diaper off and his butt in my face. so ya.

Lyndsay said...

First of all, don't worry about the yelling. We've all done the yelling when we wished we hadn't done the yelling. My yelling yesterday was about toilet paper.

Sleep is a major issue in our house right now too. Munchie used to be an awesome sleeper - 8:00 pm until 8:00 am unless we had to wake her up earlier.

1. She's up at night to pee. That used to happen only rarely. I think maybe we got used to that and stopped being so vigilant about what she's drinking before bed.
2. She is waking up way too damn early. Most days now she is up at 6. I don't know why she suddenly needs 2 hours less sleep. It started in September so I thought she was just excited to get up and go to school, but this is NOVEMBER now. Hubby and I differ on what to do. I just want her to crawl into bed with us so we can get more sleep. Hubby doesn't like this. He thinks it's better for one of us to get into HER bed with her (he has some theory about how this still has her sleeping in her own bed). But then when he leaves I never fall back to sleep, so I don't like this plan.

My thoughts - do whatever works. I know that my child won't be wanting to crawl into bed and cuddle with me when she's a snotty teenager so I would just like to take it when I can get it and worry about whatever psychological damage I'm creating then.

I'm no help to you. But thanks for letting ME vent!

Colleen said...

I am absolutely NOT a co-sleeping kind of parent. It's not that I think it's bad or anything, but if there is a child in the bed with me, the only one getting any sleep is usually the child. Ugh. (Having said that, my 10yo did join me a week ago after a nightmare, but my husband wasn't home, so there was room, but normally... no way.)
As for naps, even when my kids were old enough (4 or 5yo)to disagree with me about taking naps, I still asked them to read for a "while" in bed so we could all have some quiet time. Usually they'd fall asleep, but not always.
I hope you can find some way to get the sleep that you need.

Carly said...

Note to the wise: Good parenting = consistent and firm boundaries surrounded in love, not based on feelings but on the end result you have in mind for your child. Man oh man do I mess up all the time! It's so much easier to let things slide in the moment but I haven't experienced any lasting good come out of those moments!
It wasn't until I was pregnant with Cayla that we allowed Eden to sleep in our bed. It was a comfort thing; she was always worried about me and I was eager to hold my baby girl.
Eden is never allowed to sleep in our bed when Joe is home, but I frequently allow it when he's gone (because there is enough room and it's not impinging on the time I have with Joe). However, she's old enough to understand the difference and doesn't freak out about it.
If I were you I would put the brakes on it and act like it didn't happen. Just calmly walk her back to her bed, without saying more than, "Natalee sleeps in her bed at night" when she tries to get into your bed (I know it's SO sad! But otherwise you'll be making your own hell. Can you imagine when baby #2 comes out what your bedroom will be like?!). If you keep letting it slide it will send mixed messages. A few nights of less sleep will be worth it, I think. You have to retrain her now. You have to do what is good for the sake of the whole family and do what works for all of you. No sleep = bad days in our house.
I also agree about the matter what she needs to have some "rest time" if for no one else but you. Both Jonas and Eden went through the "I don't want to take a nap" stage at that age. Just be consistent and firm on that one and she'll snap back into the rhythm.