Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I Am A Warrior

I am NOT a runner… I’m pretty sure that I’ll never be a runner, mostly because I hate running.  I work with a bunch of guys that are totally into running, or they are into beating each other so they all try to run farther and faster than the next guy (remember the push-up competitions? It’s still going on. I quit after a torn rotator cuff and realizing that I didn’t have enough testosterone to win.)

Anyway, last year these guys signed up for the Warrior Dash, but I was pregnant so I couldn’t participate. This year they talked me into doing it, and I talked Marni into doing it with me (since I would not be able to keep up with them.) Marni finally agreed after a lot of begging on my part. Once we got there, she swore at me… A LOT.

I guess I should explain the Warrior Dash. It is described as “3.18 Hellish Miles” with obstacles:
1.       Deadweight Drifter – basically going through chest-deep water and over spinning logs
2.      Road Rage – running through tires and over wrecked cars;
3.      Great Warrior Wall – scaling a wall with a rope;
4.      Rubber Ricochet – running through hanging tires;
5.      Deadmans Drop – climbing a wall and going over the other side;
6.      Chaotic Crossover – climbing across a net made of rope (this one made the quads burn, I was actually a little thankful for all the damn squats my trainer makes me do);
7.      Barricade Breakdown – “hurdle” over barricades and crawl under barbed wire (this was definitely my least favorite);
8.     Satan’s Steps – Basically uneven and unsteady platforms, you have to jump from one to the next all the way across;
9.      Assassin’s Escape – go up steps and down a fireman pole (I was disappointed that Marni didn’t do this one upside down);
10.  Cargo Climb – go up cargo nets;
11.   Warrior Roast – leap over flames; and finally
12.  Muddy Mayhem – crawling under barbed wire in the mud.
We were freaked out, seriously. But we decided that we had driven all that way so we were going to give it a try.  About halfway through we were both saying “Next year, G and Sean have got to do this with us!” It was so much fun. And, we didn’t even come in last place. That is a big accomplishment. We would have been even faster if we hadn’t stopped along the way to take pictures of each other and the obstacles. One of the very most impressive feats of the day was the fact that Marni kept her camera in her bra in a Ziploc and it didn’t get ruined. Ziploc should totally sponsor her.
After it's all over, we jumped into this beautiful pond to clean off...

Another impressive feat: I did the whole thing with a still-torn rotator cuff. I think my rehab took about 16 steps backwards, but I don’t care. I had a great time and accomplished something I never thought I could do!

Also, my shoes came clean in the wash... they look like brand new still!


Lyndsay said...

That is so cool. Do they have big hoses or something for you to clean off?

kimert said...

That is so awesome!!!! You are my hero!

Amie said...


1) that looks like SO. MUCH. FUN.
2) Seriously? You had a child THIS YEAR. Look at your nonexistant stomach! WOWZA. Heck, SIX MONTHS AGO. THAT IS INSANE.
3) I miss you.

Melissa said...

Way to go! That looks like a blast!

Brandy@YDK said...

wow that's so awesome. you are a rockstar.